recreatingreality.com

Who are you?  That is a tough question.  Think about it for a moment. 

Most of us, when first asked the question, will give our profession.  That’s particularly common among men.  Perhaps, that is not a politically correct statement for me to make, but it is a true statement.  Before we continue, let me be perfectly clear about one thing.  The purpose of this blog is not to be politically correct, nor is it our intention to offend anyone’s sensitivities.  After twenty years of motivational speaking and teaching goal setting and achievement, I have learned that being politically correct is not always beneficial.  That said, if any men who may read this are offended by the statement that most men define themselves by profession, it’s best that you stop reading now.

I have asked men all over our country and in eight foreign countries during the course of my career who they are.  I would suggest that over 90% of the time men say something like “I am an attorney” or “I am a salesman.”  Men more than women have the tendency to define themselves by their occupations.  There is something psychological about that statement, especially among professionals.  By defining themselves by profession, men can raise their level of importance… at least in their minds.  Women have begun to define themselves by what they do more and more over the years.  But, all in all, men more than women see themselves not as who they are, but as what they do.

The question is “who are you?”  How do you define yourself?  One teenager told me recently when asked the question that she is the homecoming queen.  That led me to conclude that she is probably self-centered, preoccupied with appearances, and probably a little snobby.  Of course, those characteristics may not be who she is at all, but by virtue of the first definition of herself as her latest achievement that is where my mind went.

I hope you are getting a hint here.  We are not what we do or what we have done.  We are not what we wear.  We are not what we own.  We are beings with feelings, likes and dislikes, and a multitude of adjectives that has nothing to do with feeding our egos.

Why do I ask that question today?  Simple.  If you pulled out all your expenditures yesterday as suggested, chances are you have discovered that you may be a liar.  You have lied to yourself about what you can afford.  And, in doing so, you have tried to keep up the appearance of being someone you are not.

If you earn $20,000 a year and spend $30,000 a year, you are pretending to be someone you are not.  And, most likely you are in debt up to your eyeballs.

A good exercise before getting back into the budgeting program is to determine who you are.  Who are you really?  Are you being honest with yourself?  There is a lesson in all this.  If you are going to recreate your reality, if you are going to become a happy person comfortable within yourself, you must acknowledge who you are.

Food for thought:  Don’t start believing the lies you tell other people.