recreatingreality.com

This step is easy enough, but all to often this is a step that is left out.  When stating a goal, you must be able to control it.  You should remain flexible in achieving your goal, but you must be able to control the activities.

Sound confusing?  Well, it really isn’t. 

As an example of a goal that didn’t take into consideration the goal-setters ability to control it, we could say that the goal is to take your husband or wife to dinner tonight.  That is not a controllable goal.  A better way to state the goal would be I am going to ask my husband or wife to dinner tonight. 

Why?  Because you can’t control the answer.  You can ask your spouse to dinner.  That much you can control.  But, you cannot predetermine the response.  Your spouse may have other plans.  Your spouse may say “no” for one reason or another.  Taking your spouse to dinner is dependent on whether he or she wants to go.  And, you have no control over that.

When you are setting a goal, you must make sure that it is stated so that there are no outside dependencies or contingencies. 

Let’s say you decide to lose weight, say forty pounds.  You could state your goal as I am going to lose forty pounds by June, 2009.  That is a goal.  It doesn’t matter if your spouse cooks lasagna every night or not.  You and you alone determine how much of the lasagna you eat.

Another good example would be paying off credit card debt, if you are the only one using the credit card.  You can say I am going to pay off the $3000 balance on my credit card by June, 2009.  You have the control.  You know that it is conceivable.  You believe you can do it.  You know that other people have paid off credit card debt.  You make the statement without any ifs, ands, or buts.  You are going to pay off the balance.  Period.  You can do it.  You can control your payments.

As you write out your goals, begin with step one by determining if the goal is conceivable for you.  Then, using each of the steps discussed so far, refine your goal statement.  Make it specific and keep refining your goal until you have a statement that is only dependent on what you do to achieve it.

It gets easier from here.