recreatingreality.com

There are two reasons people do not succeed.  They either don’t know how or they don’t want to.  It’s that simple.

I am going back to my original statements in earlier posts.  Don’t start believing the lies you tell other people.  Have the courage to face the truth. 

Let’s tackle the first reason for letting success slip through your fingers.  You don’t know how.  Lack of knowledge can be overcome.  If you really want to accomplish a goal, learn everything you need to know about your undertaking. 

Once again I’m going to use the credit card debt example.  You state your goal:  My credit card debt will be $0.00 by June 1, 2009.  The question that follows is “how are you going to accomplish that?”  The answer seems simple enough.  You are going to pay off your outstanding balance. 

But, then you run into a mental snag.  You realize that you have to make payments.  And, let’s assume that you have called the credit card company and they did lower your interest rate by a point or two.  That’s a plus for sure.  But, what do you do next? 

It’s time to have the courage to face the truth.  If you could pay off your debt with no effort, you would have paid it off.  No one wants to be burdened with negatives arriving each month in their mailbox.  I can’t think of one time when I opened my mailbox, took out a bill of any kind and jumped up and down for joy.  I’ve never said, “Oh, goody, I have a new bill from the credit card company and I owe more this month than I did last month.”  (Just so you know, if you have had that reaction you need to stop reading this blog now.  You need to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist.  That’s my disclaimer.)

Getting a bill in the mail generally makes us feel bad.  Owing money we don’t have makes us feel worse.  And, let’s face the truth here.  If you get a credit card statement every month that you are not going to pay in full, you feel like hell.  You feel guilty for spending money you didn’t have and don’t have this month and probably won’t have next month.  That’s the real truth, the real bottom line.  So, face it. 

In today’s economic situation, many of us are worried about losing our jobs.  Others are trying to make ends meet month to month or week to week.  Few of us are running off to the bank to make a deposit in our savings accounts as soon as we get our paychecks.  If you do, you are the exception and congratulations.  But, for those of us who finally have found enough courage to face our realities, times are hard. 

Please understand that I am not writing this as a negative or a guilt trip if your savings account doesn’t have a comma somewhere in the total.  This is just the cold hard fact of most of our lives.  And, before you go off to pack that guilt trip luggage, let me tell you that regardless of what you think, your friends and your neighbors… even the ones with the new Mercedes… are in the same boat with you.  The only difference is that they may have more to lose if they don’t get a grip on their finances.

Don’t assume that you know what is going on next door.  You don’t.  You have no idea what is said or what happens behind closed doors.  Don’t compare yourself to the “lies they tell you.”  And, hopefully, you won’t start believing the lies you tell them.  All of us have a tendency to present ourselves in the best possible light, even to our best friends, and sometimes to our spouses.  That is human nature.  Be aware of it. 

If you are having trouble getting a real perspective on the economic situation, yours or the nations, think about the news reports.  Watch the television from time to time.  It is reported that one out of six houses across the nation that are for sale are facing foreclosure.  That isn’t as important as the houses you see that are close to or in foreclosure.  Just look at them!  If you ride through the neighborhoods you see on television you will find yourself in the perfect suburban neighborhood with houses that look like your dream houses.  In fact, those houses were dream houses for someone.  And, now those people who gave the appearance of success are no better off than you or me.  If you live in one of those houses facing foreclosure it is nothing to be ashamed of.  You, like America in general, lived above your means.  Period.

What is is what is.  That is where we are today.  We cannot go back and change history, although some of us would like to.  We are stuck with what is.  So, learn to deal with it.  Learn is the key word. 

Now, back to our example.  You work on your family budget.  If you have $100 a week for groceries, learn to shop wisely.  Look for the bargains.  Use coupons.  Buy the things you need in bulk.  The “bulk” may be small at first, but buy two instead of one if it is something you know you will need and it is on sale.  Spend $90.00 a week rather than $100.00.  That is $40.00 a month minimum that you have to pay on your credit card debt.  If you have a cell phone, reduce your plan one step if possible and reasonable.  If you have cable television with 300 channels, cut the plan back to 200 channels.  You won’t miss the hundred you don’t have because you don’t watch them all anyway.  If you stop at Starbucks to meet friends once a week, get a smaller size instead of the largest latte.  Save pennies and dollars where you can.  You don’t have to stop eating or watching cable television in all probability.  Just take one step back on each of your bills.  You can probably save at least $100.00 per month by not having the biggest or the best.  And, no one will notice the difference.

If necessary, get a part time job.  If you have one full time job now, try to work a few extra hours… if your employer pays you for overtime.  Or, get that part time job, if it is no more than two days a week.  Every little bit helps.  And, whatever you do, stop shopping as a hobby.  Hobbies don’t pay.  Shopping isn’t a requirement to be happy.  When you think you must go to the mall, go for a neighborhood walk instead.  You will feel better and save not only the money you would have spent in the mall, you will save the gas it would take to get you to the mall.

This is not punishment.  This is reality.  Once you open your mailbox one month without finding a credit card statement you will realize the worth of cutting back now.

Do what you need to do to pay more than the minimum balance on your credit cards’ minimum payments.

Once you have figured out exactly what you need to know to reduce your credit card debt, your plan is in place.  All you have to do is take action.

Of course, there is one other reason you may not succeed.  You don’t want to.  That may sound silly, but after years of working with people who have stated very specific goals I have learned all too well that some people just don’t want to succeed.  And, that’s the truth. 

Success requires activity and effort.  Sitting around wishing your credit card debt will vanish won’t reduce your balance one iota.  To be successful at this goal or any other goal, you have to want it.  You have to know in your heart and mind that you are willing to work as hard as you have to for as long as you have to for success.

Once there is the taste of success, all your future goals will be much easier to accomplish.  Think of your favorite athlete.  Chances are they were born with a little talent, but that talent isn’t worth a penny unless they want to use it.  Look at Venus and Sabrina Williams, for example.  They were on top of their games a few years ago.  Then for one reason or another they didn’t play as often.  They lost that burning desire for success.  And, their rankings fell.  This year both women have rekindled the desire to compete and win.  And, well… we can see what has happened.

So, the bottomline is that first you must have the desire to accomplish your goal.  You will know the feeling when it hits you.  You think of success.  You can visualize yourself as successful.  You can feel the emotions felt by someone who has succeeded.  Once you have the “want to” you must learn how. 

Once you can combine the “want to” and the “know how” you cannot fail.  You may not win every race.  There will always be rocks on the road and you may stumble.  But, you will never fall down and stay down.  You may be battered and scarred, but you will finish the race and complete your goal.  You will be a winner.  And, isn’t that what we all want to feel… like a winner?