Face the Truth

Throughout this blog we have discussed the necessity of having the courage to face the truth, whatever it may be.  Although it has been discussed, as the new year is getting off to a fast start for most of us, I believe that it is well worth the time and effort to discuss again the necessity and advantages of facing the truth.

We have all heard that “the truth will set you free.”  Admittedly, there are times when I have thought that was quite a misstatement.  Of course, at that time I was working with an attorney preparing for a jury trial.  But, for our purposes the truth will set us free, as nothing else can or will.

Let us begin with ourselves.  Each of us has a core, a base that is our truth.  As we have applied for jobs or positions throughout our careers, we have perhaps embellished our accomplishments to make us appear in a more favorable light.  As we talk with our employers many of us have a tendency to puff up.  Birds “puff” to make themselves more attractive to birds of the opposite sex during mating season.  We puff to make ourselves and our accomplishments more valuable to our bosses.  When we speak to our employees, as managers we often embellish our importance or accomplishments to give us credibility or greater admiration among the underlings.

When talking to our spouses, all too often we do not speak the truth… either through indifference, white lies, or as “sins of omission.”  Sometimes we display indifference because we don’t wish to engage in confrontation.  Few of us relish the idea of a confrontation, mostly because we are not skilled in doing so and it has a negative connotation.  We all too often engage in what is known as white lies because we believe it is best not to intentionally hurt someone’s feelings or again, we don’t want to be faced with confrontation or deal with the consequences.  Sometimes we just don’t tell the whole truth.  We tell part of the story but leave out our culpability or an unfavorable part of an occurrence.  We take the easy way out. 

However, for today we are talking about having the courage to face your truth.  This is not a suggestion that any of us rush out and confess our shortcomings to the world.  This is the suggestion that we look in the mirror and see yourself as you really are, full of accomplishments and dappled with shortcomings and flaws.  We are, in fact, a mixture of valuable accomplishments and assets, spotted with things we should have done and should not have done.  We are not perfect.

This exercise is not meant to tear you down.  The value of the exercise is to give yourself strength.  Know your abilities.  Be aware of your inabilities.  Just be honest with yourself.  Have the courage to face your truth.  This is a conversation to have with yourself.  It is private.  It is cleansing.  It will be freeing in more ways than one.

Let’s say you are a little overweight.  You say your goal is to lose a few excess pounds.  You tell your wife or husband that you are going on a diet.  You can’t wait for him or her to leave the house so you can sneak a piece of the carrot cake with cream cheese frosting.  What is your truth?

The example above is not judgment on whether your should or should not lose a few pounds.  It is an example of not having the courage to face your truth.  If you are sneaking that candy bar or an extra slither of cake, you have no intention of trying to lose weight.  You are happy where you are, but have stated your goal to make another happy or to live up to his or her expectations.  And, you have set yourself up for failure, deceit, and unhappiness.  Don’t waste your time!  And, for heaven’s sake, don’t start believing the lies you tell other people.

Before you begin committing your goals to paper, study what you believe to be your goals.  You know which ones are real and which ones are not.  Your goals are yours… not your wife’s, your husband’s, your employer’s, or anyone’s goals other than your own. 

One of the best exercises I have ever been taught is to stand naked in front of a full length mirror.  Strip down to the skin.  Stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself.  Look at your face, into your eyes.  Look at your waistline, your hips, or those love handles.  Stop imagining that your body is flawed or is perfect.  See it for what it is.  Take inventory.  See your best features.  Determine what needs work.  Do not base your ideal body on magazine images or models, or on suggestions or criticisms from others.  You have the courage to face your truth.

Once you have taken your personal physical inventory, write down exactly what is good as it is… perhaps your hair or your eyes.  Write down a list of those parts of your body where exercise and proper diet can make a difference.  And, if you think you are too short… well, it is time to learn that some things we can change, and some we cannot.  It is time to learn to recognize the difference between what you can change and what you can’t.

Next, determine if you are willing to change your habits and get out of your comfort zone sufficiently to make the changes you desire.  This is where the courage comes in.  What is your truth?  Do you really want to change the reality of your imperfect body or do you just want to talk about it?  In truth, most of us just want to talk about it.

In fact, many of us who have completed the exercise in front of the mirror discovered inspirational dissatisfaction and began an exercise and diet plan.  (It doesn’t hurt to stand in front of the mirror once every month or so.  It will keep you motivated.)

If you can honestly stand before the mirror, naked and objective, you may just have enough courage to face your truth… job performance, credit card debt, limited savings, and so on.

The idea behind having the courage to face the truth in all aspects of your life is to give you a starting point.  If you don’t know where you are or what you are or who you are, you will never  be able to move on and improve or recreate your reality.

To some, this must sound like a negative exercise.  It is quite the contrary.  Having the courage to face the truth will definitely set your free… or at least on the right path to freedom.  After all, isn’t that the feeling we are all searching for?

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