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Yesterday, I was sitting in a doctor’s office with an older woman who was anything but positive.  She has a form of cancer that is very common and while incurable at the stage she has, in her case it is inactive.  In other words, she has cancer but it is in check and should have no direct effect on her day to day life.

As we awaited her turn to see the doctor she first commented on the sweater of a woman who was at the receptionist’s window signing in.  “She shouldn’t wear that sweater.  It makes her look fat.”  Following that she went off on a tangent about “fat people.” 

When that monologue had become exhausted, the lady next commented that the picture above a table was too large.  “Anyone can see that the picture is too large for the space.  You would think that someone in this office has taste.”  That little monologue continued until her name was called for her appointment.

Had I not turned up my iPod I am certain that my energy level would have sunk.  Once the doctor made his appearance, he confirmed that her cancer was totally in check and that for over a year the cancer had been inactive.  She mumbled something under her breath following the good news.  The doctor suggested another PET scan in six months and that was that.

It has been over a year since the last chemo.  The lady has visited almost every specialist in town during that time.  Her heart is fine.  Her cancer is in check.  No high blood pressure.  For her age, she remarkably has nothing treatable and no negative diagnoses.  If there is a weak spot in her health, it may be that she should have her eyes checked for glasses.  That’s my observation, not a doctor’s.  By the way, the lady is over 80.

Let me just say that if I were over 80 and in as good health as she I would probably be dancing on the table.  As we scheduled the PET scan for July, the woman once again asked, “Do I get a prescription?  Don’t I need something?”

I was extremely happy to get this woman home.  In fact, a weight was lifted from my mind when I saw her safely into the house. 

That brings me to my point today.  No one wants to be around someone who finds fault with everyone and everything.  Yesterday I was reminded of something my mother always said.  If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.

This sounds like a small thing.  But, the truth is that all of us know someone who is always finding fault with just about everything in his life.  Maybe you are the one! 

There are several reasons to train yourself to be a good finder rather than a fault finder.  First of all, looking for the good will help create a positive mental attitude. 

My friend, Maya (The Gratitude Journal), is one of the most positive and optimistic people I have ever met.  When I need a little lift during the day, I call Maya.  Maybe it comes natually to her.  Maybe she trained herself to be positive and to look for the good in life.  In all honesty, I am not sure I could remain positive if I were Maya.  She takes care of her husband who is a quadriplegic 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, year after year.  She bathes him.  She hands him everything he needs or wants.  And, everyday she takes care of and cleans after his physical needs.  Maya has never complained, to my knowledge.  Instead, she looks for the good in everyone and everything.  Just read a bit in her journal…

As an observation… The neighbors, including the kids in the neighborhood, flock to Maya’s house.  In fact, everyone in the neighborhood loves to be around Maya so much that the kids make a point of being sure Maya’s husband is included in every activity.  Let me say that he is also very positive and very upbeat about life, although he recently had surgery that removed his entire left leg well up into the pelvic area, lived on feeding tubes for almost three months and lost the use of one hand while hospitalized.  His fingers atrophied due to lack of use.  (Maya and her husband work everyday to stretch his fingers, but it is a slow process.) 

The point is that while Maya and her husband would be the most likely to live a life of “woe with me” both love life and live it as fully as possible.  That attitude of finding good in everything makes people want to be around them, to assist when possible, and to enjoy everyday.

On the other hand, the lady who finds nothing good in her life is a lonely woman.  The children in the neighborhood avoid her at all costs.  Unfortunately, most of the neighbors avoid her, too.  No one, not me, not you, wants to be around negativity. 

You see, people gravitate toward the positive.  Certainly, we all have times when life is not perfect.  That’s what life does.  However, it is amazing how we can learn to be a good finder… by looking for the good in life.  Finding good in life is an energizer.  It is the fuel that keeps us happy and leads us to success in life.

Take note of your attitude toward life.  Determine is you are a good finder or a fault finder.  Begin to create the spirit of a positive mental attitude.  It is easy to do if you train yourself to look for the good and overlook the negatives.